Real life experiences: teenage mothers
When 19-year-old Sophie Milne became pregnant it was "fantastic news". She and her long-term boyfriend had been trying for a baby for more than a year, and many of the couple's friends had already started families. "My partner is 28," explains Sophie. "I find I tend to act a bit older than my real age and feel comfortable around women older than myself anyway."
"Teen parents often complain that people assume they're not in a stable relationship, that the pregnancy was a mistake."
Sophie may be considered a 'young mum', but she's not so young
that she needs to be told how to live her life. She sees her family's
future very positively, and she's thrilled with baby Ellis, now a bouncing
six month old. "He's so sweet and easy to please," she coos.
"When he's older I definitely want to get into work - I'd love to
be a midwife."
Teen parents often complain that people assume they're not in a stable
relationship, that the pregnancy was a mistake, and that the child will be a
great burden. In Leicester, a group of young mums hosts a one-day course for
childminders like Tracey Reid. Tracey works as part of Leicester's
Childcare Support for Teen Parents project, funded through Sure Start
Plus.
Tracey loved the course. She says: "With support and guidance, these women
had developed a day which looked at the issues like stereotyping and budgeting.
They wanted us to be aware they certainly don't get 'everything on a
plate'. They were keen to show us that teen mums can be really positive
about their future and their children's future. I found it really
enlightening."
Tracey has found the course very useful for when a relationship with a young
mum is beginning: "I make it easy for my young mums to spend some time
here," she says. "The typical working mum picks up her child, has a
10-minute conversation about the child's day, then off they go. But some
young parents have all sorts of questions about the basics of baby care.
"I think I gave her the confidence to 'rough play' a bit with baby."
"It has to be relaxed and informal, rather than me telling them what to
do. For instance, one of my mums was rather cautious about tickling and playing
with her baby, in case she hurt him. I think I gave her the confidence to
'rough play' a bit with baby. She'd see what I was doing, and
think, 'Well it must be OK to do that.'"
So what is the secret of the project's success? Tracey reckons she knows:
"A young mum won't look on me as an authority figure," she says.
Sophie Milne agrees: "As a parent, you have to find your own way, and you
don't want to be told what to do."
Perhaps that was one reason Sophie decided to breastfeed - because everyone
expected her to formula-feed. "I went to Sure Start antenatal classes and
learnt about the health benefits of breastfeeding," she says. "People
asked me, 'Why on earth are you bothering to breastfeed?' My mother had
even bought me a steriliser and bottles when I was still pregnant."
One of Tracey Reid's teen mums is studying for a GNVQ in health and social
care. "She could not have started her college studies without Care to
Learn," says Tracey. And she might not have managed without Tracey's
help, too: "I was at college when my children were small, so we talked
about how to fit studying around the needs of a baby. And we got baby to take a
bottle of expressed milk, so mum could continue breastfeeding."
Next Steps
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