Real life stories: internet safety
"My first step to keep the girls safe when using the internet has been not allowing them to have computers in their rooms. We have a family 'study' - a glorified box room really! - with a big desk, a PC and all the girls' computer games. This is pretty unpopular with Lottie, as she claims she's the only one in her class not to have her own PC, but it means Alison and I can quietly keep an eye on what they're all doing, as well as monitor the amount of time they spend using the computer.
"Now, if any of the girls key 'sex' in to it, they just get a load of boring websites about gender studies!"
"This might be unrealistic once all three of them are at secondary school and need a computer for homework, but I'm hoping that we can manage some sort of rota, as I hate the idea of each of them glued to a computer screen in solitary confinement in their bedrooms. We always use Google as our search engine as it has a brilliant safe search function, so you can set it to filter out offensive images or website names. Now, if any of the girls key 'sex' in to it, they just get a load of boring websites about gender studies!
"We've set up a pop-up blocker that our internet service provider offers, and we've also invested in extra software to block pop-ups and filter out inappropriate sites, but we're aware that this is far from foolproof. It might stop the girls from coming across really obviously unpleasant sites but it's not going to stop them from going into kids' chat rooms or on to child-oriented websites, and these tend to be the places that paedophiles target. You can't just buy the software or use a service provider that offers parental locks, and then assume that everything's going to be ok. You need to be constantly vigilant and aware of what the PC is being used for.
"I think the most valuable thing we can do is to keep talking to the girls all the time about what they're doing on the computer, and encourage them to tell us if they come across anything they're unhappy or uncomfortable about. In the same way we had it drummed into us not to talk to strangers, we now have to drum into our children not to give out any personal information on the computer or to arrange to meet up with anyone they talk to online.
"... schools are really clued up about it now and organise regular discussions about internet safety."
"To achieve this it's important to be open about the dangers that are out there, and not to be embarrassed to talk about unsavoury subjects like pornography and paedophilia, so that the girls don't feel too embarrassed to talk back to us about anything they've seen or heard. Other parents and teachers that I've spoken to about it seem to feel that the problem is much less than it was, say, five years ago, because schools are really clued up about it now and organise regular discussions about internet safety.
"Alison and I know that computers are an important part of life, and that our girls need to be confident using them if they're going to keep up at school, but we're trying to help our girls understand that there is much more to life than sitting in front of a screen. We think computers, whether they're being used for work or play, should be just a small part of a child's day, not their only diversion.
"I would hate anyone in my family to get obsessed by surfing the net, so we try to schedule lots of outdoor family activities and play 'old-fashioned' games like mousetrap and Monopoly. That way we all understand that life online is not the be all and end all."
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