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Bullying

Bullying can happen anywhere - this site offers advice to parents who are concerned that their child may be affected by bullying at school. Bullying is unacceptable and parents, teachers and others working with children all share responsibility for tackling it.

Signs to look out for

One of the most difficult times in a child's school life can be if they are bullied. Bullying can be defined as deliberately hurtful behaviour, repeated over a period of time, where it is difficult for those being bullied to defend themselves. The three main types of bullying are:

  • physical (e.g. hitting, kicking, theft)
  • verbal (e.g. name calling, racist remarks, being called a chicken)
  • indirect (e.g. spreading rumours, excluding someone from social groups)

Signs to watch out for
Parents and families are often the first to detect symptoms of bullying, though sometimes school nurses or doctors may first suspect that a child has been bullied. Common symptoms include headaches, stomach aches, anxiety and irritability. It can be helpful to ask questions about progress and friends at school; how break times and lunchtimes are spent; and whether your child is facing problems or difficulties at school. You should trust your instincts if your child is acting out of character at home and contact the school immediately.

What you should do if your child is being bullied
It is required by law that your child's school has an anti-bullying policy which sets out how it deals with incidents of bullying. You have a right to know about this policy which is as much for parents as for staff and pupils.

If your child tells you they are experiencing bullying at school, there are certain people you can speak with in order to resolve the problem. Initially, you should write to the head teacher and express your concerns. Try to work and resolve the issue. If that does not help, you could then write to the Chair of Governors, and then to the local authority (LA). If the problem still remains unresolved, the Department for Children, Schools and Families can investigate the allegations with the school. You could also ring the helpline at Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222 for general information

Jan FryOn Tuesday 22 November 2005, Jan Fry from Parentline Plus participated in a live online Q&A session on the subject of bullying at school. A video and transcript of the event are now available.

Help your child's school deal with bullying
Parents have an important role to play in helping schools deal with bullying. What you can do to help is:

  • whenever the anti-bullying policy at your child's school is reviewed, think about contributing your ideas to the consultation process. 
  • watch out for signs that your child is being bullied, or bullying others.
  • discourage your child from using bullying behaviour at home or elsewhere.

If a child is being bullied, they can get free advice and support by calling ChildLine on 0800 11 11, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Another useful site is Bullying Online [External Site] Opens in new window.

If your child is bullying
Often parents are not aware that their child is the one involved in bullying. This can be embarrassing for you, but it is important to remember not to become angry with your child. Try to stop their bullying by:

  • talking with your child. Let them know what they are doing is unacceptable and making other children unhappy.
  • discourage other family members from bullying behaviour, or from using aggression or force to get what they want.
  • show your child how they can join in with other children without bullying.
  • make an appointment to see your child's teacher or form tutor and explain the problems your child is experiencing.
  • discuss with the teacher how you and the school can stop them bullying.
  • regularly check with your child how things are going at school.
  • give your child lots of praise and encouragement when they are cooperative or kind to other people.

Find out more information and advice on how you can deal with bullying from the Department for Children, Schools and Families anti-bullying website [External Site].

Information and contacts

Advisory Centre for Education
1b Aberdeen Studios
22-24 Highbury Grove
London N5 2EA
Advice Line: 0808 800 5793
Website: www.ace-ed.org.uk [External Site]

Anti-Bullying Campaign
10 Borough High Street
London SE1 9QQ
Tel: 020 7378 1446 (10:00 - 16:00)

Bullying Online
Website: www.bullying.co.uk [External Site] Opens in new window

Careline
London Tel: 020 8514 5444
Leeds Tel: 0532 302 226
Telephone counselling for anyone experiencing bullying or other problems.

ChildLine
Studd Street
London N1 0QW
Tel: 0800 1111
Website: www.childline.org.uk [External Site]

Children's Legal Centre
20 Compton Terrace
London N1 2UN
Advice line (weekdays 14:00 - 17:00) Tel: 020 7359 6251
Fax: 020 7354 9963
Publications and free advice, by phone or letter, on legal issues.

Kidscape
2 Grosvenor Gardens
London SW1W 0DH
Tel: 020 7730 3300
Website: www.kidscape.org.uk [External Site]
Publications and advice. A bullying adviser is available Mondays to Friday, 10.00am to 4.00pm on 08451 205 204.

Parentline Plus
520 Highgate Studios
53-79 Highgate Road
Kentish Town
London NW5 1TL
Helpline: 0808 800 2222
Website: www.parentlineplus.org.uk

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